I got chris browned last night
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
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