I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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