Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
"it" just moved
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Randomize
