take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
Bang-toberfest begins!!
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
Randomize
