Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Randomize
