Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
