but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Randomize
