Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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