In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
Randomize