He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Randomize
