I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
