My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
i just sent this text using only my big toe
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
