plz talk dirty to me
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
Randomize
