nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
The air taste purple.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize
