He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
