you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
