I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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