my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
I just want nice things and good sex
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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