I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
