Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
Randomize
