Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Randomize