It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Randomize
