The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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