I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
