I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
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