things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Randomize
