I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
God gave him joint rollers for hands
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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