Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
3 2 1 whiskey
Hello my rib-scented angel!
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
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