that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Randomize
