I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
