Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
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