i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
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