I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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