dude i'm inner monologue high
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Randomize
