if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
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