Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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