And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
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