What a fucking waste of an outfit
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Randomize
