doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
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