saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
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