Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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