If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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