i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
Randomize
