i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
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