I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
