Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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