Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
being pregnant is like rehab
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Randomize
