Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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