your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
