i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
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