We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
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