Can Purell be used as lube?
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
