God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
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