I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
There r osticjed everywhere
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
Randomize
