I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize