Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
I yelled at your uterus for you.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
