you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
