you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
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