Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
i drank out of a bidet.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
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