I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
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