just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
