I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
It's Friday. Sex?
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
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