So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
Randomize
