i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
Randomize
