Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
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